Our House

If you are following my personal tumblr, or if you have spoken with me lately, you know that I am very actively working to focus on the positives in my life. One result of this new focus is that I have realized I am most stressed when I am reading the news. Other than the fact that I am acutely aware of many injustices occurring in my state/nation/world, there must be a simple reason many news stories make me so upset that I can barely breathe. This morning I think I may have pinpointed it.

Every time I read a positive news story, or look at a poll that shows more than half of the respondents agree with my own views, I think “I cannot wait until my generation is in charge.” I am not naïve enough to believe that everything will magically be mended when that happens, but I do believe that we will take many, many steps in better directions. But the frustration comes – and here’s the connection to my previous point – from the realization that my generation, the one with the desire, innovation, skills, and compassion to change everything, is overwhelmingly stuck.

The system we want to change is so broken, and the people who run it are so possessive of it and afraid of change, that we have not yet found a way to wedge ourselves in. We are facing a dearth of opportunities to prove ourselves. We are lucky if we can even claim opportunities to support ourselves via work that we are severely overqualified for, thereby minimizing our usefulness to society AND simultaneously taking entry level jobs away from people who have not been as fortunate as we in obtaining education and experience. In this system, everyone is depressed several levels below their potential.

Regardless, I am focusing on the positive whenever I am capable of doing so. Even though we are not being given many opportunities, we are beginning to make them. We are making our voices heard, even though it takes thousands, tens of thousands, millions of our voices to reach a handful of privileged ears. And much of it started here in Wisconsin, the place that allows me to be proud of my home even at times when I am embarrassed to call myself a US American.

In this morning’s Wisconsin State Journal, there was a small cover story about the one-year anniversary of our current political battle, which has “practically turned Wisconsin politics inside out.” But it’s not just Wisconsin. Two quotes in particular made me feel so good about what’s happening here that I nearly cried.

One poli sci professor notes that Wisconsin is now “viewed as ‘Main Street USA’ nationally” and that we have “come to represent the power and potential of people getting involved in politics.”

A young Wisconsin woman who says she was never interested in politics until last year is now very engaged, and has traveled to other states to participate in protests as well. She had this to say about going to the nation’s most publicized protests:

“I went out to Occupy Wall Street a few months ago, and I was overwhelmed with people telling me how Wisconsin was the spark that started the fire of the Occupy movement.”

And so, finally, we are becoming a force in this country. We have made it abundantly clear what we want and need, so no legislator can claim to have our best interests in mind when she or he works against us. This many people can’t be wrong, and even if we were, this is our house. The house of the 1% may be bigger and fancier, but our house has room for everyone. Our house has more love. Our house has more hope. Our house has more potential, just waiting to explode into action. Soon, the 1% will wish they had come over to our house when we first invited them, because the party is going to be unbelievable.

Hear what I mean, not what I say

I am in A Mood this week. Add to that the fact that this morning I simultaneously consumed caffeine, read the newspaper, and listened to Ani DiFranco, and we have a recipe for a rant. Batten down the hatches.

I went to college at a Lutheran school in small-town Iowa, so I have a lot of conservative friends. I also have a lot of friends and family who don't like to think about politics at all. Usually we just don't talk about it, and I'm not sure whether I wish that we did. Every now and then I try to subtly mention how this or that policy has limited my quality of life, but the following post is what I really wish I had the guts to say. This is what I really mean.

Dear conservative friends and family,

I don't have inherent problems with conservatism as a political approach. I don't have (m)any inherent problems with the republican party, though I have endless problems with what the republican party has become. I can respect your decision to vote republican, if you can demonstrate to me that you have really, deeply thought about the ramifications of your vote. I can respect your decision if you can give me a reason good enough to justify all the ways in which republican policies would limit my ability to thrive in this country.

Every time the government or anyone in a position of power makes a move to limit civil rights, to favor those who are already living comfortably, to silence a group that needs to be heard, to make equality less attainable, it is also a move to erase not only my views, but my existence. It is not exclusively conservatives who are to blame for this--it would be unfair of me to omit that fact. But what I want to emphasize is that these are not abstract concepts we are talking about here. We are talking about people. Maybe you have not been personally affected, or maybe you think it only affects people who deserve to be affected. I wish I could convince you to see it this way:
Every day, the politicians and laws of this country make attacks on me, personally.
Every day, we uphold laws that jeopardize the rights and safety of me, your friend.
Every day, presidential candidates claim that unemployment, national debt, and going uninsured are the fault of me, a law-abiding, tax-paying, working (after nearly 5 months of applying for jobs) citizen.
Every day, the rhetoric of the leaders of the United States reinforces the notion that this country does not want, care about, or need me, a human being.

I am constantly told that I am less worthy of rights and legal protections because I am not Christian. Because I am a woman. Because I am gay. Because I live below the legal poverty line. Because I chose a "frivolous" line of education. Many others are bombarded with still more reasons: Because of their skin color, or a disability, or mistakes made in the past, or any number of other reasons.

The United States as a nation is apparently terrified of governments that operate under Islamic law, so much so that it will declare war on such nations. But at the very same time, many of us believe that the best way to run our own country is under Christian law. A great many of the hot issues today are issues exclusively because we have failed to maintain separation of church and state.

Example 1: Educating teenagers about birth control is problematic only if it is against your religion--so don't use it if it is against your religion. It's not a sin to know that there are safer options available to people who are inclined to sin. In a time when our population greatly outstrips our resources, it would benefit us to limit our rate of population growth.

Example 2: Same-sex marriage is an issue only if you are morally opposed to it, and nobody would force you to perform a same-sex marriage. You wouldn't even be obligated to respect same-sex marriages--only to tolerate them and allow your fellow citizens to obtain legal rights and privileges as consenting adults. Weddings contribute a great deal to the economy, so again, benefit.

Even if I weren't able to provide the above examples, when is it ever fair to force someone, by law, to abide by the tenets of your religion? And who decided that these particular beliefs were the ones our nation should enforce? Think how many rules and commandments are laid out in the Bible, and not followed today. I'm not stating anything new here; I'm sure you've thought about it. Only two of the ten commandments are law (three if you count adultery in some states), and if all of them were incorporated into our legal system, then every single one of us would be a criminal.


I do not, by any means, intend for this to be a tirade against Christianity. There is much that is beautiful and good about it, just as there is much that is beautiful and good about any religion. This is precisely the reason no single religion should be favored in our nation's laws.

If you are conservative for reasons other than your religious faith, then I still urge you to consider the ramifications that political policies have for real human beings. Ask yourself why you support the politicians and policies that you do, and whether you want them badly enough to sacrifice the well-being and freedoms of fellow Americans.

This, to me, is the greatest irony of all. Those conservatives who are unable to articulate their reasoning (I don't mean to imply that this refers to the majority of conservatives) generally fall back on an argument along the lines of "Regardless of the problems you may have with the government, at least we have freedom!"
Ouch.
After reading the above post, you should have some idea of how many freedoms I am not afforded, and you will understand why that argument bears no weight for me.

Please, next time you go to the polls, ask yourself who and what you are supporting. Ask yourself what rights and freedoms you think I deserve. I promise to defend yours, as long as they don't preclude everyone else's.

Love,
Your friend, sister, daughter, niece, cousin, fellow citizen and human being.

Thanksgivings II and III

Since this is so belated, much of what I was going to say here is going to bleed over into more general holiday musings. For now, I want to focus on something I mentioned in my Thanksgiving I post: heightened gratitude as a result of tough times.

This year, I found myself looking forward to Thanksgiving they way I used to look forward to Christmas as an excited little kid. Even though adult-me knew exactly what gifts the holiday would bring, I was incredibly ready for them. Partly because I am already in a place of gratitude at this juncture in my life, and partly for the following reasons and more.

For one, I was expecting a visit from a dear friend from Berkeley, on her way to Germany and Austria. She stayed with me for almost a full week, and we packed in a lot of Wisconsin goodness during that time. Almost immediately after coming home from the airport, we headed to The Old Fashioned, where we treated ourselves to beer battered cheese curds, beer cheese soup, a lazy susan of cheeses and pickled goodies, beer flights, and of course a brandy sweet old fashioned. It was chilly outside, warm inside, and Monday Night Football was on the television. I couldn't have planned a more perfect introduction to our Northern culture. Every time I start to think it's not possible, I become a little bit more thrilled to be here, and to be from here.

The next day we wasted the whole morning sitting in bed and looking up terrible Christmas music (did you know James Brown has a holiday album? The whole thing is on youtube, and will probably lessen your respect for the man). At noon we hit the capitol for some good old fashioned protest songs - this happens every weekday at noon in the rotunda, so if you live near Madison I highly recommend joining them sometime! We cruised State St. before heading home to make dinner and skype with another faraway friend, currently suffering in the cold and rainy land of New Jersey.

We made a trip to the stable to visit my horse

and we spent a little time exploring the Main St. of my hometown. We popped into the shop where I used to work, and two of the owners were there. We had a lovely little reunion, and I was asked to come back, at least for some extra holiday hours. This means several things. 1) I have a job that is indoors and allows me to sit down sometimes! 2) I can worry a little bit less about the bills this month! 3) I get to speak Norwegian again! 4) Gløgg and julestemning! I have really missed the type of holiday feeling that happens in Norway, and this will let me get a little bit of that back. This is getting a full blog post sometime this month, so stay tuned.

The rest of the week went far too quickly, but involved lots and lots of food prep, and lots and lots of food consumption. Followed by a long soak in the hot tub as we considered whether or not we should hit up any midnight sales (the answer was no).

It was on Thanksgiving day, and the day after, that it all hit me. I had looked forward to - and enjoyed - my friend's visit so much because I spend a lot of time alone these days. I used to covet my alone time, but here I don't have many friends yet. Some wonderful friends, to be sure, but not many of them, and I don't see them so often. I think the fact that I now feel so much more willing to share my time with others is an indication that I am much more well-adjusted than I used to be, and for that I am thankful.

I looked forward to dressing up on Thanksgiving Day, because most days I roll out of bed at 5am, dive into as many layers of clothing as I can find, and top it all off with a very unattractive stocking cap and down coat. I looked forward to the meal because, well, because I love food. But even more than usual this year, because only a week before I had a financial fiasco that made me resign myself to buying bales of ramen on sale (this actually happened) and tightening my belt. This is exactly why Thanksgiving has been so important to people in the past--they were freakin' hungry!

I looked forward to spending time with my family, even now that I live near them and see them almost every week. I felt grateful that I get along with them so well, and that I wasn't embarrassed to bring a friend home to meet them. I was grateful that they are so incredibly inviting, and giving, and fun. I am grateful that they are always there for me, even when I don't want to need them.

Most of all, I looked forward (and am still looking forward) to this whole holiday season because so much is changing for me right now; so much is uncertain. I'm not looking forward to presents, but to traditions...even though those are always changing too. This year, I'm making a very conscious effort to make up my own traditions, and figure out what meanings I want to imbue my holidays with. If I know why these holidays are important to me, then it won't be so important that the traditions go unchanged. So here's what I've got so far.

1) Hosting a Thanksgiving dinner for my friends. A much boozier version of the family dinner.

2) Sometime after Thanksgiving and before Christmas Eve, I am going to write cards for my immediate family members, to be opened on Christmas Eve. Because my sister is now married, all of our family traditions get moved around a lot to accommodate the in-laws, and that's been hard for me--especially now that I'm the only single cousin left. But this will let me do something that's meaningful, and on my own terms, and involves my loved ones without them having to plan around me.

3) Focusing on the whole season, instead of The Big Day. Again, I'm hoping this will help me to not feel so upset when traditions get skipped over or moved.

So, what's it all mean to you? What are the most important things, the best things, the hardest things about your holiday season? What do you look forward to and what do you dread? Do you make it special, or just make it through? What are your favorite traditions?

Sunday Mourning

I will, as promised, be posting updates on Thanksgivings II and III as soon as I can. But for now, something more important needs to be expressed.

Yesterday, on at least two occasions, I thought to myself "I am a superhero". More on that in forthcoming posts. Seemingly on cue, life stepped in to put me in my place. I was enjoying a lazy Sunday in sweatpants, cleaning up the aftermath of a small party and decking the halls. Just as I started to decorate my Christmas tree, my mom called me to let me know that Skip just died.

Skip was one of the owners of the stable where my horse lives. He has been an important part of my life since I started riding in 1997, but for the last four years or so, I have only seen him once or twice a year. I suppose he was more like an extra grandfather than anything. He taught me much of what I know about horsemanship, and was always able to lighten a mood, no matter what the situation. He was the perfect balance to my very intense (but also very dear) riding teacher. Every now and then he would sidle up to me while I was riding, slip some money into my hand, and tell me not to spend it all in one place. Every time we parted ways, even toward the end while the dementia was taking its hold, he made me promise to "call if you get lonesome!" Thinking back, I'm not sure if I ever took him up on that. So many things we could have talked about. So many times he could have cheered me up when I was struggling, if only I'd taken his advice and called.

Skip used to be a bull rider and a rodeo clown, so at some point in his life he'd busted about every bone in his body. He looked the part of a grizzled farmhand, but his personality was one hundred percent inviting. To everyone. Always.

After I got the call, I struggled to react. I heaved one of those choking breaths that comes at the end of a really good cry, but no tears came. So I kept on decorating my tree, phasing in and out of thinking about Skippy, and starting this post in my head. Now I'm writing it, and have squeezed out a couple of tears. But this doesn't feel like any of the other times I've lost loved ones, and I'm trying to piece together why that is. I have gotten the news over the phone before, so that can't be it. I've dealt with the expected-yet-never-quite-expected death that comes at the end of a long illness, so I don't think that's it either.

The only thing I can come up with is that he didn't seem very ill the last time I saw him. So it didn't feel like a goodbye at all. Only once have I lost someone without having gotten the chance to say goodbye - no small blessing - and I clearly do not know how to deal with it. Usually I am able to make a bedside visit, and play or sing something for my loved ones before they pass. And usually after they pass, I am charged with holding it together for long enough to sing or play at the funeral. The tears have to stay down, and the only way to do that is to stuff down the emotions too. Maybe that's what I'm doing right now, on a subconscious level. Maybe the floodgates will open the next time I go riding.

Happy trails, Skippy. Call if you get lonesome.

Thanksgiving (Part I)

Skip to the bottom of this post if you don't care what I've been up to this weekend, and just want to read the sappy part.

Last night I kicked off the holiday season with Thanksgiving feast #1 of 3. I was invited by a friend to come along to Milwaukee, to the home of someone he hadn't seen in a decade. Now, those of you who know me have at least some idea of how much I love Thanksgiving. I was not going to say no, even at risk of an awkward evening surrounded by people I've never met. This is not what ended up happening anyway.

I wish I could think of an engaging way to write about this, but it's impossible to be smug about what I'm feeling right now. I had a really rough week. I fought with a loved one, struggled with loneliness, felt terrified about my financial situation, and was horrified by events around this country in which peaceful protesters were beaten and pepper sprayed. But then the weekend came, and I was able to fill it with good people and beautiful goings-on. It was like the universe came together for me in attempts to make amends for all the terrible things it had been leaving in my path lately.

Friday: I had Friday afternoon off for the first time since I started this job. A friend invited me to join her for yoga, and I almost cried I when I realized how badly I needed this. Her studio was having a special Thanksgiving deal where members could bring a friend for free. We stretched, strengthened, laughed, and opened up. The instructor kept saying things that made me feel she was reading my mind. All the tension I'd been storing started to jitter its way out of my body. We got done and I was a new person. I was breathing again. It's insane how much we internalize and normalize, and I'm going to try to remember that this week.

We then joined some more friends for dinner, to celebrate one of us finishing a big writing project (if she is reading this, she should let me know if she would like me to link to it here). None of us who were there have an easy time of things right now, and most of us are in jobs we don't want to end up in. But everyone there finds the energy and passion to do something they love. We muster the resources to create things, to improve the world even when it's giving us a beatdown. And, dammit, we had a great night. Thanks, friends.

Saturday: I got a custom order for some dinosaur mittens, which cost the same amount of money I got screwed out of earlier this week. Universe, thanks for having my back. Then I biked downtown to pick up a check for some work I'd done this summer. On the way I passed Occupy Madison, gave them a solidarity fist on my way by, and received a wave of cheers and revolutionary energy in return for my small gesture. I felt fortified in a way I hadn't in a long time.

The nearer I got to the capitol, the more cars I heard honking to the rhythm of this is what democracy looks like, and my smile got even broader. By noon there were already about 30,000 people gathered around the square, singing freedom songs and labor songs. This warms my heart every time, and reminds me of the importance of what I teach. These songs are POWERFUL. These songs invoke the power of the first anti-slavery efforts, of the entire Civil Rights Era, of the Free Speech Movement, of every antiwar movement...they are raw revolutionary energy. These songs are the force of wronged people throughout our history. These songs are the voices of everyone who has participated and believed in all of these movements raised together. Joyfully! I did not feel anger in the crowd--I felt hope, and camaraderie, and wonder and joy at the idea that so many of us could come together so strongly.

I rode this energy all the way home, to get ready for Thanksgiving #1. When I got there, I was thrilled to find myself surrounded by intellectuals and liberals and teachers and public workers and queers and every combination thereof, all of whom welcomed me with open arms, as though we'd known each other for years. I was home, in an instant. We laughed and ate and drank and talked about our lives without dwelling on the things that keep us down.

Here comes aforementioned sappy part.

Halfway through the meal, I was informed that this is one of those Thanksgiving parties where everybody goes around and says what they are thankful for. When this happens at my family Thanksgiving, my mother locks herself in the bathroom because it inevitably becomes so awkward. But last night was not like that. These people were not dutifully listing the things we're supposed to be thankful for--health, family, friends, etc.--they were giving thanks. And the message that came up again and again was that yes, this year has been exceptionally challenging. But somehow, especially during this holiday season, the challenges make the blessings stand in sharper relief. My heart began to swell as I understood that this was true for me as well. When it was my turn, this is what I said:

I just moved back to Wisconsin after eight years away, and every single day, something happens that makes me so excited to be back here - whether it's the seasons, a local brew I've missed, casserole, or people letting me change lanes without being dicks about it.

Today especially, I am incredibly grateful for the amazing displays of democracy and free speech right here in our state, and in our country, and in the world. It gives me so much hope, and keeps things in perspective for me.

I am thankful, too, for wonderful friends who push through their struggles and still somehow find the energy and compassion to fight for their values.

And having said that, everything in my world got a little bit shinier.

EXCUSES. Or, S'MUG: Not just about coffee anymore.

Dear (my one follower and anyone else who may have ever read this blog),

It has been a long absence, and for that S'mug Bitch apologizes. But in the same breath, she would like to offer you a legion of excuses:

1) During her final semester of graduate school, S'bitch was composed of anxiety of a greater density than ever before. Caffeine would have caused an explosion that may have ruptured the San Andreas Fault.

http://thulescientific.com/

2) Due to said anxiety, S'Bitch was mostly trying to avoid work, mostly by doing lots of this and this

meditation-online.net

wrinklepage.com

and also this

wkdp.com

3) Following the Semester of All Dooms, S'Bitch drove across 2/3 of the US, taking the long way back to the Motherland: WISCONSIN. At this point it took her 4.5 months to land a job, and now

4) She is too poor to go out for coffee!

BUT

That doesn't mean the blog has to be over. S'Bitch is still S'MUG as ever. Perhaps even moreso. S'MUG is now going to shift focus to a broader spectrum of life, outside the cafe scene. Plenty of things to judge out here, too. Which leads me to:

The Best Bad Day Ever

Right off the bat, I just need to say that this is not a rant. It's going to sound like it at first, but keep reading--it turns around later.

Let me tell you a bit about my job, so that I can explain about yesterday. I work almost-full-time at a kennel and doggie daycare. This means I am out the door by 6am, at work when it's still dark, on my feet and outside all day, regardless of weather. I'm with a group of anywhere from 25-75 dogs, making sure nobody gets into fights, barks too much, eats rocks, that sort of thing. It's not entirely different from teaching, actually, except that when they're out of control, I can leash them and throw them in a time-out.

Yesterday, it was rainy and around 38° all day. So, half of the time we were soaked and freezing, and the other half we were inside, trapped in a not very large room with a pack of wild beasties. They are all nutso when they are inside, so they fight and bark a lot. In a very resonant room, this is extremely loud and piercing.

By the time I got home yesterday evening, I would have described myself thusly: Soaked, frozen, exhausted, hungry, smelly, headachy, bitten, scratched, bruised, and sporting one smashed finger. But even as I made this assessment, I realized that I still felt better than I ever did at the end of a day of grad school. So I started counting reasons.

-I get to see the sunrise and sunset every day at work. In the words of one of my favorite authors, Gregory Miller, "Life is too short to forego such easily attained pleasures."

-In my first three weeks at this job, I have (unintentionally and unexpectedly) lost 10lbs. This is not a good thing in and of itself, because I am a Fairly Skinny Bitch to begin with and I'll need the insulation, but the upshot is that I have really great energy, despite sometimes working 6:30am-6:30pm.

-My coworkers are great. Some have worked with horses as well, so I get to tap into a part of my personal makeup that has seemed too distant for too long. Also, we make fun of each other a lot. If you know me personally, you know that this is my favorite form of human communication.

-I spend every day surrounded by a bunch of (mostly) adorable furry things who love me so hard they want to knock me over and lick my face off. It's good for the self esteem.

-Even though I am still not earning enough to pay the bills (it's 50° in my apartment, so heat is still an unnecessary luxury), it feels good to be scraping by on my own, forcing life to give me what I need. Plus there's pride to be gained from the fact that I've managed to secure three different jobs in the current market (the first I had to quit after a week because of a physical problem).

-This job is the opposite of grad school in so many ways, which is exactly what I needed at this point in my life. It's task oriented, and I know when I've finished something. I know that I'm good at my job, and always getting better. I get recognition when I do something extra. When my shift is over, I am done working for the day, and I have to go home and do something else.

-Because of the previous point, I am doing a much better job of building a social life. It's hard to make friends when you're not in school, but I'm making progress. I'm even dating...I think. I hope. It's complicated and confusing, but thrilling. At any rate, I've met some people who I am really excited to get to know. They're already making me want to be a better version of myself.

In conclusion, life's rough, but a S'mug Bitch is rougher. 

Coming soon: How this S'Bitch is makin' it work (Keyword: DINOSAURS)

Peet's Temescal (On Wisconsin!)

Believe it or not, S'mug Bitch doesn't drink coffee super often. Don't get me wrong, I love the stuff--I just don't handle caffeine well. "AHA!" I can hear you proclaim as your monocle falls into your cuppa. "No wonder the S'Bitch is so lazy! A lack of proper caffeination, caused by her own negligence, has made her stop writing about ze cafe scene!" I don't know why you turned French at the end, but I'm not judgin'.

So at any rate, I apologize for the long radio silence. I no longer have Mondays and Fridays off, so it takes a bit more effort to get out to fine bean-roastin' institutions. BUT this morning, S'Bitch made a discovery. Are you ready?

You can go to cafes and do other fun things even on days you also have to work!!!

I know. I know. This morning I woke up early, realized there was no coffee on the house, and remembered I had a Peet's gift card to use. So I moseyed over, feeling proud of myself for beating the crowd and not having to stand in line. I bought half a pound of beans and was handed a free cup of coffee. I must be getting away with something, here. Might as well stay here for a bit, with the comfy furniture and (tee hee hee!) free cup of coffee!

Not many outlets here, and I imagine it gets very crowded during peak times, but there is a LOT of comfy furniture. In a dimly-lit rotunda. I felt very classy in there. If it didn't smell like coffee, it might have smelled like rich mahogany and leather-bound books. Also, Michaela behind the beans counter is a total enabler. She will convince you to buy the better coffee even though you planned to buy the cheapest one. Totally worth it because it was roasted last night.

On to the rant. By now you have probably heard about Wisconsin's wackjob governor, Scott Walker.

 He is a man with a plan:

But this is how most of Wisconsin (and the rest of the country) feels about him:

Except, y'know, the rest of the country isn't a badger. But we are. So watch out. (For those of you who don't know S'Bitch personally, she is a proud Wisconsin gal.) So why are our hackles up? Let me count the ways.

Others have written about this more competently than I can, so I will direct you to them right off the bat:

Channel 3 (Madison local news station)

Josh Healey has written an excellent blog post about the happenings in Madison

The short version of it is that Walker, having turned a billions-of-dollars surplus (who the fuck has a surplus these days? Wisconsin [did]!!!) into a billions-of-dollars deficit within his first month in office, is desperate to balance the budget. He wants to do so by crushing unions. You think I'm exaggerating, but if you listen to this prank phone call in which Walker tells all, you will hear those exact words used, and he doesn't even try to deny it. He would like to take away unions' collective bargaining rights. This would mean that workers would have no right to collectively contest things like unsafe working conditions, benefits, vacation... This is attached to a bill that would mean major cuts for public workers in all sectors. And he's playing it like union folks are just grubbing for more money, when many have taken multiple pay *cuts* in recent years. Nobody's whining about tightening their belts. People just want to KEEP the rights they've had since the 1930s in Wisconsin.

Walker wanted to vote on this bill four days after introducing it. In response, Wisconsin's democratic state senators fled the state to delay voting on the bill, so the people would have time to make their voices heard. Tens of thousands have occupied the state capital for 8 days and nights now, and Walker still says he is unwilling to negotiate. Again, I'm not exaggerating here. He has publicly stated, again and again, that he absolutely will not compromise--that this bill will go through no matter what.

Events in Wisconsin have sparked nationwide solidarity rallies, and international attention. If you are pro-union or pro-working class, you might want to find out if there is a rally in your area. If you can, donate a little something to MoveOn.org so they can send videographers to publicize the event, and provide supplies to the protesters occupying the capital in Madison.

We need to oust this guy, because he is proving again and again that he cannot be reasoned with. Barring that, I say we secede and join Canada. The Tea Party crazies wouldn't want to come with us, so we'd be free of them AND of some of the anti-socialist paranoia and elitism that is becoming increasingly rampant in the US.

On Wisconsin! (As you've never heard it before.)

New Amsterdam Coffeeshop

The Nitty Gritty

Location: 1952 University Ave

Hours: Mon-Fri 9:30am-6:30pm; Sat-Sun 8am-6pm

Java: $1.50 (drip coffee) - $3.25 (double white mocha)

Goodies: $1.95 (giant cookie) - $2.15 (chocolate croissant)

Breakfast: $1.50 (bagel with butter) - $4.75 (breakfast burrito)

Lunch/Dinner: $5.50 (cranberry chicken salad sandwich) - $7.00 (The BIG Salad - yelp reviewers love this thing)

Credit cards: yesh.

WiFi: free, and much faster than many cafes

Power outlets: A bit sparse, but they're here

Bathroom: big, bright orange, with giant photographs of Amsterdam

Seating: At the bar, a couple of cushy stools with backs (nice). Little round tables topped with a collage of pastries! Pastrytopia! You want to eat them all, but you can't because they are actually a table! Also, there are window seats that resemble a plush, purple church pew. I like.
Oh, there are a couple of nice outdoor table/chair sets too, but it's not so scenic here.

Music: Hoppin'. It will keep you going without being distracting, or disrupting your conversation.

Ambient noise: Seems like a chattier place than many cafes I've reviewed. Two people are Skyping someone about a startup business venture (I swear I'm not sitting here stealing all of their ideas). Lots of people come in and chat with the baristas.

Temperature: It's hot today, outside and in.

Parking: Mostly paid, one-hour. You'll have to go a few blocks out of your way to do better.

Bicycle parking: Good luck finding a vacant street sign.

Biggest pro: Specialty Autumn drinks! Pumpkin spice lattes, and eggnog lattes! If you ask for whipped cream, it comes out looking like a snowman took a dump on top! The snowman poo is cold, which makes a really nice contrast to the hot java.

Biggest con: Location. Parking's tricky, and as with anywhere around here, it's potentially sketchy.

Recommended for: A quick snack or meal, a drink with a friend, or a concentrated burst of productivity

Not recommended for: Camping out for a whole day

This has nothing to do with the cafe, but your fave S'mug Bitch needs to broadcast something on a rather somber note. She's been writing this for a while, and wondering whether it belongs on this blog or somewhere else. But finally she realized that it belongs anywhere it might be read.

S’mug Bitch has been following the DADT proceedings. Who am I kidding? I’ve let them get me so upset that they disrupt my life. I have mixed feelings about this particular policy, because I have mixed feelings about our military. But what DADT signifies, I am absolutely opposed to. S’Bitch has no desire to serve in the military, but it makes her sick to think that some individuals who choose to serve are forced to hide who they are in order to do so. They are required to make all the sacrifices that other soldiers make, but additionally have to give up an honest image of themselves. How does this help us? All it accomplishes is to cause some soldiers to suffer even more trauma than they already would.

Those who are in favor of equal rights regardless of sexual orientation saw a huge setback with the passing of Proposition 8. We watched as the rights we had been granted in California were taken away by a simple vote. We watched as people’s marital security crumbled, due to the ignorance and fear of the general public. There have been small victories since then: Prop 8 and DADT have both been successfully challenged in smaller courts. But it’s hard to celebrate these baby steps, knowing there is so much further to go, against so much opposition.

But think. If DADT were struck down, suddenly a whole lot of soldiers could start being honest with themselves and their colleagues. There’s no way to know how many they are, since they’ve been required to hide. S’Bitch doesn’t know, either, how many homophobes there are in the military. But what if just one in ten of them suddenly found out that the soldier who saved her ass in combat, the mechanic who fixed his chopper, or the medic who patched up their buddies were gay? And what if one in ten of those went home and raised a family that, instead of being fearful and hateful, was open and loving?

Imagine.

What if the young people in that family went to school and, instead of bullying suspected homos, chastised kids who use “gay” as a derogatory term.

What if their classmates, by extension, realized that there really was no excuse for arbitrarily disliking an entire segment of the population. And what if they grew up to be voters who are just a little bit better informed?

Regardless of S’Bitch’s personal take (or yours) on the conflicts the US military is currently engaged in, the fact is that there are uncounted gay and lesbian soldiers who are risking their lives to make our country a safer place to live. What are WE doing to make this country a safer place for THEM?

Royal Ground Coffee

The Nitty Gritty

Location:1127 Solano Ave

Hours: I have failed you...I forgot to write this down :-/

Java: $1.60 (espresso) - $3.95 (double fancy drinks)

Goodies: $2.00- $3.50 everything looked SO good. There was a cheesecake with EVERY KIND OF FRUIT on top, with that shiny glaze that you'd see on top of a fruit tart. I resisted the temptation, but only just.

Fud: There were also tasty looking sandwiches, pasties, etc.

Credit cards:yep

WiFi: yes, but it took FOREVER to get connected. And it's slow.

Power outlets: Next to almost every table.

Seating: Small tables, against the walls of this very narrow space

Music: Very backgroundy. It was quiet enough that we couldn't really hear it, but S'mug Bastard and I both left with vague bits of it stuck in our heads.

Ambient noise: Very quiet.

Temperature:A bit chilly, but it was cold out and we were sitting near the door. And I was drinking a Thai iced tea (which was very delicious).

Parking: Easy to find on side streets.

Bicycle parking: Use a signpost.

Biggest pro: The desserts, I imagine.

Biggest con: Feels a bit cramped and characterless.

Recommended for: A quick break or fuel-up, but only if you're already in the area.

Not recommended for: much of anything else.

It was fine, but a very 'meh' experience. Nothing to write home about.

S'Bastard and I drove down Solano thinking "Solano is so cute! It must be full of cute cafes, so we don't even need to do a google maps search before we leave! We'll just be driving along, and dozens of cafes will throw themselves in front of the car, screaming 'I'm cuuuuuute! Pick me! You will looooove me!' And we'll be so overwhelmed that we'll have to come back here time and time again!"

We were wrong. There were NO OTHER CAFES on the street, apart from restaurants/diners with 'cafe' in the name. And at least two cafes that were closed (as in, closed for good). What's up with that, Solano? Where is Albany hiding its good cafes? If you, S'mug Reader, know the answer to this very important question, please tell me! I'll take you there and buy you a beverage.

E-22 Cafe

The Nitty Gritty
E-22 Cafe

Location:1366 Powell (near Doyle)

Hours: Mon-Tues 8am-4:30pm; Wed-Thurs 8am-7pm; Fri 8am-9:30pm

Java: $1.75 (espresso) - $3.00 (mocha)

Goodies: $2-2.50 (croissants with chocolate, fig, strawberry...

Lunch/Dinner: $6.50 (caprese salad) - $13.00 (Caesar salad with anchovies and grilled shrimp)

Credit cards: Claro!

WiFi: Should be, but they've been having problems with it. They recommend you call ahead and see if it's working on a given day.

Power outlets: Very few, and inconveniently placed.

Bathroom:There's a mosaic-ed bistro table in there. It's pretty, but I have no idea why it's there.

Seating:Very limited indoor seating, with high tables and chairs along one wall. The whole place is windows. Lots of outdoor seating on a brick patio area. It's pretty cute, if you can ignore the corporate/industrial looking buildings all around.

Music: BAD jazz. Bad.

Ambient noise: It was just us. So quiet that all you could hear was the bad jazz.

Temperature: Nice when we were there--it was a sunny day and everything was open. It might get chilly when it's cool out, since all the walls are windows.

Parking: Street parking. You might have to circle the block a couple of times to find something.

Bicycle parking: You might have to walk a little way.

Biggest pro: None of us tried the food, but someone ordered a panino and it smelled incredible. We were drooling on each other.

Biggest con: The jazz ohpleasemakeitstop.

Recommended for: Afternoon drinks/late lunch. The place is trying extremely hard to be authentically Italian, and while it's not convincing me, it's still very charming. I could definitely see spending an afternoon with a couple of friends on the patio, enjoying paninis, beers, or some of that juicy-looking sangria.

Not recommended for: A cozy-up-with-a-book sort of cafe experience.

Philz Coffee

The Nitty Gritty
Phils Coffee

Location:1600 Shattuck (at Cedar)

Hours: Mon-Fri 6am-9pm; Sat-Sun 6:30am-9pm

Java: $2.75 - $2.95 (house blends); Jamaican Blue Mountain is $7 for small, $10 for large
This is probably as good a space as anyway to emphasize that my blog is not about coffee. I won't always order coffee, and I'm not a connoisseur (it only took me two tries to spell that word right). But this place has fantastic coffee. There are dozens of blends, listed by dark/medium/light roast, and each has a flavor description. They brew everything one cup at a time, and add the cream and sugar for you (if you want it). I'm not sure what they do to it, but it comes out frothy on top, and they ask if you want a mint leaf added. Delicious!

Goodies: $2.50 - $3 (pastries from Nabolom)

Credit cards: Si.

WiFi: free and keyless, but often slow.

Power outlets: All over the place, but on a really busy day, you might have to fight somebody for one.

Bathroom: Two of them! The lock is screwy on the first one, so if you have to use it, be vigilant.

Seating: Awesome. Like Spasso in that there are many mini-areas with different feels, but classier than Spasso by far. There are a handful of two-person tables for those of you who don't like to mess with what's classic. There's a big wooden table with high-backed wooden chairs that looks like it came out of the common room at some uppity English university. It's kind of fun to sit around the table with strangers, and wonder what they're working on. Or pretend they're working on the same thing you are, but you're doing it better.

This place has THREE sofas. Yeah. I only tested the slick leather one, but it is perfect for working. It's firm enough to keep you sitting with decent posture, but still comfy. Another of the sofas appears to be red velvet, and has a fainting-couch vibe. It's set back in the middle of a billion windows with its friend, an easy chair.

Music: This is my only complaint about Philz. It's a bit too loud, and makes violent genre shifts every two songs or so. Most of what they play is not ideal work music (though it is fun music). A lot of it sounds like somebody's Regina Spektor Pandora station, then we get some questionable cover versions of classic songs, some funk, and blast-from-the-past pop that might make you feel old.

Ambient noise: Quiet upstairs, a bit raucous downstairs where people are confused about what to do. Order your coffee on the side where people are making coffee. While they make it, pay your tab on the side where there's a cash register. 's not rocket science.

Temperature: Nice. The seating area is separated from the prep area and from the door, so the temp isn't too affected by either. On really hot days they even run the AC.

Parking: Metered on Shattuck. Side streets have different rules every block or so, so don't let them trick you.

Bicycle parking: Settle for a street sign, or just take the bus, since this is pretty close to downtown.

Biggest pro: The coffee, or the space. It's a toss-up.

Biggest con: The music. And, as S'mug Politik pointed out, the place is definitely not set up for anyone who uses crutches, a wheelchair, etc. You can get your coffee ground level, but the entire seating area is up a short flight of stairs.

Recommended for: Grading. Lounging around with a book on a day off.

Not recommended for: Anything that requires you to really focus. The awesomeness of the space, bright colors everywhere, and party music will distract you.

Walking in here for the first time, I realized that I might be becoming something of a city person, despite all my expectations. I grew up across from a cornfield, y'all. I fell asleep to the sound of crickets and banjo frogs or, if the wind was right, black angus cattle lowing. My favorite birthday present EVER was a swiss army knife, because now I could build forts in the woods more efficiently. Sometimes when a big blizzard came, we'd be stuck for days because our street was low-priority for the plows. That was the most populated place I'd ever lived--12,000 people. Before I moved to Berkeley, I lived in a town of <400. So this is coming as a revelation.

I was afraid of cities. They're big, and dirty, and people there are used to living there. You don't wave at everyone you pass on the street, because it's suicide to trust everyone you meet. Even if they're not malicious, they know how to take care of themselves, and it may have to happen at your expense. You're always in the public view. And it's so easy to get lost...

But on the other hand, it becomes all the more special when you do make a connection with someone. When you find a space that feels like a neighborhood, that allows you to let your guard down a little. When you catch a beam of light, between the buildings, that turns everyone on the bus golden for a moment, and gives you a view of the bay or the hills. When you find a fantastic restaurant behind a grungy storefront.

So tell me. What do you love about cities?

Nabolom Bakery

The Nitty Gritty

Location: College and Russell

Hours: Mon 7am-2pm; Tues-Fri 7am-6pm; Sat-Sun 7:30am-6pm

Java: $1.00 (small house coffee) - $3.75 (large mocha)

Goodies: $1.25 (cookie) - $2.75 (fruit danish)

Lunch/Dinner: $2.75 (mini pizza) - $4.75 (sandwich)

Credit cards: Yuppers.

WiFi: Free and keyless.

Power outlets: There seem to be a lot, but some weren't working when I was there.

Seating: Tables and chairs, a bar with padded stools, and on VERY dilapidated, black velvet couch. It's like you're sitting on bare springs, after which you walk away wearing a dusting of decrepit couch entrails. There are also a couple of tables and chairs outside, on the Russell side.

Music: Radio, but it was back in the kitchen and pretty quiet. Plenty of other noise drowning it out.

Ambient noise: Most people who came in here knew the owner and/or each other, so there was lots of neighborly conversation. Something in the kitchen was very squeaky and incessant.

Temperature: Perfect.

Parking: Paid on college, 2 hour (free) on most side streets.

Bicycle parking: They have a whole bike rack right outside the door!

Biggest pro: The pastries, and the friendly-neighborhood feel

Biggest con: The sofa, or what's left of it.

Recommended for: A quick breakfast or snack, or sitting outside on a nice day.

Not recommended for: Hunkering down for an extended stay.

That about says it for this one. The inside is pretty shabby, but the vibe is very cozy and welcoming. The coffee is pretty decent even though it’s pre-brewed and you pump your own. My apricot cheese pastry was buttery, flaky, creamy, and pretty big for the price. I’ve also had their cinnamon twists, which are fantastic as well.

I had lots of interesting interactions with strangers (and friends too) this week, which has me thinking a lot about the human condition. The man at the register when I went to the grocery store told me his cat, who he’s had for 15 years, had just died. Several of my friends are dealing with serious medical issues. One of my professors lectured even though his mother just passed away. A student’s hard drive fried itself just as she finished writing the paper that was due the next day. I saw someone discover that bits of his bicycle had been stolen. My newlywed sister and brother-in-law just had to put down their wonderful dog, who was only three. And then of course the news, about all these young people committing suicide because their peers bully them relentlessly about being gay.

My point is, how do any of us survive? I know about all of this, and yet I was having a great day yesterday (until one little thoughtless email from a higher-up ruined my mood). One stupid comment was all it took to bring me down, and these mood-killers are everywhere. Maybe it's the Midwest in me,  but stuff like this always makes me feel like I should have been there to prevent horrible things from happening, or at least to comfort the survivors. 


Negative experiences hit us so much harder than positive ones. If a million great things happen to me today, and one thing happens to annoy me, that's what my brain will dwell on, even if I tell my brain that's stupid. And we absorb other people's negative energies so easily, too. Don't get me wrong; I'm a naive idealist. Most of the time I go around under the assumption that everyone I meet is going to be my best friend, and that all my dreams (and theirs!) will come true. But this is a lot to process.


I think that underneath all these words, what my innards really want to scream is why don't we do a better job taking care of each other? How did this life get so hard that it's all we can muster to take care of ourselves, sometimes blatantly at the expense of others? We are doing something wrong. We are doing many somethings wrong.


Please, if you're reading this, do something today to make someone's day a little brighter. Hold your tongue for a second when you're about to criticize, and ask yourself if there's a gentler way to say it. Bake something for your colleagues. Let someone get in the lane in front of you. Call somebody you don't talk to often enough.


See? Told you I was a hopeless idealist.

Not so S'mug today,
Bitch